How are you?
Can we just pause for a moment? Take in a breath. And let it out.
It’s been a minute since I posted a Thoughts on Thursdays post, but I’ve been extra reflective lately. I was looking back through old posts and realized I’ve missed this. It’s been a crazy season of churning and turning and healing and who knows what else.
Life rushes by so quickly – in our culture, we even pride ourselves on how busy we are – but we weren’t designed to go-go-go and never stop. In fact, we were designed to pause. Breathe. Rest.
Pause.
Breathe.
Rest.
That’s so hard to do in our society. But the older I get, the more crucial it seems.
While I usually post my year end reflections here on the blog, I do also take time each month to intentionally reflect month to month. It takes maybe 20 minutes out of my evening – and it’s extra special when I can do it by candlelight – but it gives me clarity, peace, and direction to debrief on the previous month and take a few moments to think ahead to what I’d like to prioritize in the upcoming month.
Well, it’s that time again. As we sit between September and October, everyone around me is so excited for Fall. Personally, I mourn the loss of Summer sunshine and warmth (part-time mermaid over here 😭), but I cannot deny the lure of the gentle breeze through brilliant leaves and a season where we all seem to collectively take a breath.
And slow down.
As I look back on September, I find myself looking back even further. Y’all it’s been a doozy of a year. Honestly, the last two years have been full of heartache, grief, sorrow, and pain.
It’s been a very long season of wandering in the wilderness. Of grieving the loss of work, friends, family, mentors, health, and hopes. Of where I thought God was calling me. Of repeated rejection, betrayal, and abandonment by those who professed to love me most.
Of daily crying out to God for direction, only to hear “Wait” in return.
For YEARS.
I’ve wrestled with all the feels, believe me, and with why God felt so silent. I’ve felt directionless – which is a nightmare for a goal-oriented planner like me – and I’ve lived squarely in the daily part of daily bread for so long I’ve almost forgotten what it was like to live any other way.
But what I’m learning is that that isn’t such a bad place to be.
I’m leaning daily on my Father – He who does love me, who won’t reject, betray, or abandon me, and who holds me through the fiercest storms. I’m doing my best to be faithful with what’s right in front of me. The little things that seem inconsequential or mundane. Dishes, laundry, getting dressed. Eating food. Doing the work He has blessed me with. Maybe even trying to move my body a little each day.
And I am overwhelmingly grateful for the ways He moves in my life.
Just because I feel like He isn’t answering my prayers or because I don’t hear anything but “wait” doesn’t mean He hasn’t been moving this whole time. Redirecting me, refining me.
His truth fills me and points me back to what is right, even when I don’t understand. Even when I hurt.
I don’t pretend to understand why the storms exist, and I certainly don’t believe they’ll cease anytime soon. He promises they’ll come. But He also promises to use them for our good.
I may not understand, or even want the storm. And I definitely often wish it would end sooner than it does. But I’m learning to trust the timing to Him who existed before time began and even to thank Him for the flashes of lightning that light the way. I choose to lift my rain-soaked face to the Creator and find comfort in the low rumble of the thunder.
Whatever season you’re in, know that He isn’t surprised. He won’t leave you. He is good. And He has a purpose.
Seasons shift. Storms come and go. But we get to choose how we respond. With every choice, our souls are refined just a little more. He shapes our character. He is healing the broken things before we even know we need it.
We broke the world and yet He pours out Himself to fix it, to fix us.
I want to bear His image more rightly, so let the rain fall down.
~*~
Let me know how I can be praying for you in the comments, and know you aren’t alone <3
