Have you ever over-corrected? You know, when you make a mistake or when you’re veering off path for some reason. Have you ever looked up, realized you’re not where you should be, and then jerked waaaayy too far to the other side?
Maybe you were driving and you glanced down to change the radio station, fix the air conditioner, or just to tell the kids to hush so you could think straight. Next thing you know, you hear that heart-thundering sound when your tires hit the rough strip on the wrong side of the white line. You jolt upright, wide-eyed, and jerk the wheel over to the left, sending the car swerving back into the center of the lane. Then your kids joke about who farted and your heart starts to slow back down again.
When I was first learning how to drive, I over corrected once–and thank goodness no one was in sight–and shot the jeep straight into the oncoming lane! It took a couple of loops back and forth for me to get the car back under control and in the right lane. That was a scary thirty seconds. When everything was out of my control and I had no idea what would happen. There were a lot of possible outcomes, and quite a few unpleasant ones looming in the forefront of my purely panicked mind.
Or maybe you don’t drive yet. Have you ever overcompensated while cooking? Kool-Aid packets call for a cup of sugar. Personally, that’s way too much. I put in either two-thirds of a cup or three-fourths, depending on which measuring spoon is handy. But, I had to learn that through experience. I put in too much sugar by following the directions; then the next time I put in not enough! Maybe you put in too much salt on that bland bowl of stew and now you can’t taste anything for a week because your tongue is burned. Maybe you accidentally put salt into your cake mix instead of sugar and missed the boat altogether.
Sometimes it’s easy to move from one end of the spectrum all the way to the other. In the end, we didn’t really fix the problem. We just shuffled things around until we were on the other side of the problem. Most things in life require a delicate balance, a happy medium. But…how do you get there? And, once you’re there, how do you stay there?
Well, first thing’s first: you’ve got to know there is a problem! If you don’t know there’s an issue to begin with, then you can’t fix it. That means you’ve got to be open-minded, open to rebuke, and open to change. You have to learn to listen to those who have gone before you, those wiser than you. You have to have enough humility to admit when you’re wrong and enough integrity to do something about it.
Self-assessment. If something isn’t working right, don’t automatically push the blame onto someone else. Even if others are truly at fault, you can still find ways to improve. You can always get better at something, and there will always be a bigger fish in the pond to keep you motivated.
I’ve always been told, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” And, I think there’s some truth in that. But…what if it is broken? Then what? Well, if something isn’t working the way it’s supposed to, you’ll usually know by the results. If the results aren’t what you need, something in the process has to change. The process is what leads to the results; therefore, if you want different results, you need to tinker with your process. Even the great thinking Albert Einstien is credited with saying as much! “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” I don’t want to live in insanity. I want to live in intentionality. Time to rethink how you’re doing things.
So, now you know there’s a problem somewhere. It doesn’t have to be a big issue, just something you’ve found that you can do better. Great, now you not only have you taken the opportunity to self-assess, not only are you now aware of an issue, but you’ve made the courageous decision to find a way to fix it, or at least make the situation better. How do you keep from ending up on the other side of the double yellow lines in an utter panic because you hit the rumble strip?
I don’t know. Maybe it’s trial and error. Maybe you have to hit the wall a few times before you find the middle. Maybe you have to go through a few bad batches of Kool-Aid to find the right combination of water, sugar, and powder. And…maybe the right combination for me isn’t necessarily the right combination for you. Or for the guy who lives two doors down or for the gal who served your breakfast in the diner this morning. You can’t really control how they make their Kool-Aid anyway. You can only control how you make yours.
I know all this sounds all cryptic and convoluted, and I apologize. (I’m a little stuffed up tonight.) But, my point is this: there are always problems that need to be solved. We can always become better people, hone our skills, and grow. Sometimes, the answers aren’t easy, and more often than not, applying those answers are even more difficult. In the end, though, I think experience can be one of the best teachers. Over-correcting doesn’t have to be a fatal flaw. As long as you look up and make a smaller correction in the other direction, you won’t end up in the ditch. Just keep batting back and forth until you find that happy medium, your sweet spot.
So, take a step back for a few minutes. Think about where you are in life, at work, at home, with your personal goals, etc. Get the bird’s eye view, or ask a third party who isn’t so close to the situation. Find someone who loves you enough to be honest, but is kind enough to care and walk with you. Remember that it’s okay to find fault. Without a problem, there’s no way you can ever get better. With a clear head, and an aerial view, you can better determine where you are in these areas and decide what you want to improve on. Then you can go about problem-solving and finding ways to make corrections. Try to make small corrections until you find the center of the path again, but don’t give up if you hit the wall once or twice.
Love always,
Coralie