Do you ever find yourself in situations where you’re really, super excited about something and then things turn out way differently than you were expecting? I think everyone, on some level, has experienced this. Sometimes we’re let down. By people, places, and things. Sometimes we put people on pedestals and then crash hard when we realize they aren’t any more perfect than we are. Sometimes we anticipate the results of an interview or a test and then go home crushed when it turns out we weren’t as good as we thought. Sometimes, life lets us down.
Disappointment is difficult to deal with, I think. How do you handle it? I’ve known people that handle it really well and then a few who don’t handle it so well. Everyone deals with disappointment differently. I tend to bottle things up when I’m upset. I gather my anger until the bottle is full and then POW! I just explode. Not the best solution or method, but I’m not perfect either, y’all.
Well, I kind of do the same thing with my disappointment, I think. I don’t mind letting my excitement show. I like being a bouncy, smiley, happy person. I feel like laughing and smiling are important and are easy ways to brighten the days of the people around us. But when I’m disappointed by an outcome, I often try to hide that. I think it’s kind of an instinctive reaction for me. For instance, I got wind of a job opening near home with an amazing company. I was qualified for the job and knew that the culture at the company was one of excellence and lifting up the lives of others. This company is full of hard-working people of integrity who do work that matters. They change lives. And in some small way, I had the chance to be a part of that. Unfortunately, after my first phone interview, I was informed that I would not be moving forward in the selection process.
Now, I had been practically over the moon with the idea of working at this place and for these people. I never dreamed they’d open a position that I actually could offer them something, a job I could use my skill set in. But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be, and at first, I had kind of a hard time with that. I wondered if I’d been wrong to apply or wrong to be so excited. I wondered if I could have done something better. But I really didn’t want my family to know how the rejection truly hurt, so I shrugged and played it off as if it were not big deal, even though if I was honest with myself…I was really disappointed.
Recently, my sister faced a really big rejection and disappointment. Unlike my failed job application, however, this is a choice she has to deal with for the next year. She tried out for a position at school. She had the experience. She’d been making plans with the leader who was hosting the try outs and he’d never given her any indication that she wasn’t going to make it. She didn’t even make the runner up position and was beaten out by two students who both had less experience than her. Now, not only is my sister qualified for that position, but she’s been in the runner up position for the last year. She fully expected to advance, or at the very least stay in the assistant position. And to make matters worse, the student who did get her current position, is kind of a jerk sometimes.
Isn’t it crazy how things work out? My heart goes out to my sister. She was crushed by this rejection. The leader who made the decision hasn’t given her any explanation yet either. Not only does she feel the hurt of the rejection, the disappointment of losing the position and being denied advancement, but she’s starting to wonder if she’d never been any good in the first place.
Disappointment can lead us down a slippery slope. Fast. My sister is a wonderful girl. She’s been a leader in her class and will have a difficult time transitioning out of a leadership role, but she’s going to make it through. I just want to be sure that she understands that this outcome doesn’t mean she’s anything less than what she is. I personally think the situation could have been handled with more tact, grace, and professionalism, but I can’t control her leader. I can only encourage her and do my best to empathize and give her hope.
I listen to the radio a lot, and one day, I heard a radio host say this: “Rejection is God’s redirection.” For the last several weeks since I’ve heard that, it’s really stuck with me. There’s a reason for everything. I believe that. I believe that all things work to the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) I don’t know why I didn’t get the job I was so excited for. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to land any job in my field since graduation. I don’t know why my sister didn’t make the cut at her school. I don’t know the purpose and I don’t know how everything is going to work out in the end. I don’t know a lot of things. But I do know it will work out. Somehow, someway.
So, I want to encourage you guys tonight. If—when—you deal with disappointed hopes and expectations, remember that God has a better plan in mind. He’s redirecting you for a reason. There is a purpose behind all of this. God allowed so many awful things to happen to Job, but in the end, Job was far better off than when he’d begun. If God allowed Job to be tested, then when he doesn’t allow us to get what we want, I have to believe He is still doing great things. So, Dear Disappointment, You can’t have me.
Love always,
Coralie
Here’s one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite groups: Count Your Blessings by the Martins