You know, life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. You don’t always ride off into a glorious sunset on the back of a unicorn. Sometimes…sometimes life isn’t what we expect, and sometimes the nights are long. We don’t live in a perfect world. In fact, nothing in this world is anywhere close to perfect. People hurt each other and laugh because of it. People hurt themselves and justify it. In this world, there will always be pain, suffering, sorrow, grief, and regret. As amazing as some moments are in this life, we live in a broken world.
Mothers abandon their children. Brothers reject sisters. Friends lie, steal, and cheat. Strangers abuse strangers. Families break apart. Men plan murders. Women plan affairs. Children learn the way of the world far too soon, and then they grow up to perpetuate those same behaviors. We’re cruel to animals. We disregard our land. We hate each other because of stupid things, differences we’ve found or created just to feel superior to someone, anyone. We yearn to feel significant, loved, worthy…so what do we do? Invent ways to hurt others for that small moment of triumph. But what kind of victory is that?
Maybe you’ve never lied, not technically. Maybe you’ve never stolen, not really. Maybe you’ve never cheated, not once. And you’ve certainly never held a gun to anyone’s head, let alone pulled the trigger. If you aren’t a liar, a thief, or a murderer, surely you’re one of the better ones…right? Have you ever wanted something that belonged to someone else, deep down in your heart of hearts? Okay, maybe not that either. Have you ever wanted someone who belonged to someone else, deep down in your heart of hearts? Hmm, maybe not that either. What about anger? Have you ever been so angry with someone that you saw red for months at a time? I have. We’ve all been angry. Maybe you haven’t acted out in your anger. Maybe you have. Either way, that anger is as great a travesty as hate and murder in the eyes of God.
You can deny it if you like, but I think the proof is in the pudding. There is no corner of this earth that is unaffected by the shattered reality that we live in. Until the day we die, we will live in a place that causes us harm, that brings us pain. There will be nights we cry out in anguish because we don’t understand. There will be times our hearts hurt so much we fear we won’t be able to stand it. There will be storms so fierce in your life that you will be torn apart.
The question is, what do we do about it? How do we handle those long, dark nights in our lives? How do we handle those long, dark nights in the lives of the people we love? I’ve been on my knees with quivering hands and so many tears I could have flooded the room. I’ve felt that tension weigh down my chest, that sick, twisted grip that made it hard to breathe. I’ve felt abandoned, worthless, and manipulated. I’ve felt unloved, unworthy, and uncared for. I’ve been treated like I was too stupid, too ugly, and too hopeless to bother with. I’ve been beaten and betrayed. I’ve been swallowed by defeat. I’ve been to the very bottom and cried out. I cried in anger. I cried in pain. I cried out because I didn’t understand and I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I cried out because I heard all of the voices feeding me lies. I cried out because there was nothing else in me.
If you’ve been there too, my heart hurts for you. I know there is darkness here, darkness that we can’t rid ourselves of. That darkness threatens to swallow us, and sometimes, we don’t really think we’ll mind if it does. It’s inescapable. At some point, your plans will go out the window and your life will come to a screeching halt. The trick isn’t to avoid the black world we live in, but to persevere in spite of it.
There’s a lot we can do to make little parts of this world brighter. Even the smallest actions can change a life. Something as simple as a smile—even when you don’t feel like it—can be enough to encourage the waitress not to give up. Not yet. Hold a strangers hand as he breathes his last breath. Wipe a child’s tears and tell them, one day, it’ll all be okay. We can’t explain why things happen the way they do, but we can always bear the torch of hope. We can shine a light into the shadows to dispel the darkness.
There is One who has been there. He’s been tormented by this broken world too. He knows exactly how you feel. He came to give us a way out. We can draw strength from each other and from God to stand up, even when we’ve been knocked down more times that we can count. We can choose to go on. We can choose to wipe the sweat from our brow, the blood from our lip, and keep fighting. We can choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a powerful weapon against the darkness. For I tell you this, you will be wronged. And you will wrong others. You can either let that wrong eat you alive from the inside out like an acid, or you can choose to let it go, heal, learn, and move on.
Believe me, it’s a whole lot easier said than done. But the day you stop trying…they day you give in…that’s the day darkness wins. This broken world isn’t the end. Next time you find yourself clawing at the hopelessness, shrieking because of the grief, shaking because of the effort it takes, don’t give in. Know that this is not our home. This is not where we belong. This broken world is going to burn. It will burn so brightly it will blind you, the heat will sear you. And it will hurt. But from the ashes, beauty will bloom. From the ashes, a new world will be built, a world more beautiful than even this amazing place we’ve been given. From the ashes, we will rise.
Stay strong. Don’t give up yet.
Love always,
Coralie
P.S. Cause Petra is just awesome: Road to Zion and Not of This World
Where I Belong Building 429