Good evening, y’all! And a Happy Valentine’s Day to you! Ah, yes, ’tis the season of love. We talked a little bit about love last week and how there is Only One Love that is true and unconditional for all of eternity, but tonight, I kind of want to touch on that romantic love that everyone is buzzed with on days like today. 

So, I don’t know about you guys, but when I was in middle school–and even in high school–Valentine’s Day was usually kind of a big deal. There were the boyfriends who went above and beyond, almost like a competition now that I think about it, to impress their girlfriends. Some were just trying to outshine each other and others were just trying to find a way to tell the girl they liked how they felt. Then there were the couples who stood off in the corner smiling at each other and exchanging sweet notes that were probably much more personalized than gigantic, fluffy, pink teddy bears. And, lastly, but certainly not leastly, were the doe-eyed fellows who stared after the girls they wished they had. (And of course those who didn’t even know what day it was when they woke up, but we’ll zero in on the participating celebrators for now.) There were even parents who sent Valentine’s to their kids–which I think is kind of sweet, but again, off topic. Those who weren’t giving flowers, chocolate, cards, and stuffed animals were either rolling their eyes or mooning hopelessly over what they didn’t have. And we had a name for this day, those of us who went unnoticed and uncelebrated. We dubbed it SAD. Singles Awareness Day. 

Now that I’m older, that kind of makes me laugh. Does it you? We never meant to detract from the sweet gestures of romance–well, at least I didn’t! And, it’s true, one day I hope I am given the gift of marriage. I’m still that same hopeless romantic I was. My understanding of that desire has grown as I have. I yearn for something deeper and truer than I knew was possible at the time. That said…I don’t want to waste my life pining away for someone I’ve never even met–or someone I have for that matter. I want to use the precious time I’ve been blessed with wisely, and that means growing and becoming all I’m designed to become. Maybe one day that will be a wife and a mother and so forth, but for right now…for right now that means being strong enough to stand when my family can’t. It means being kind enough to forgive and patient enough to learn. It means having integrity in all that I do, no matter who’s watching, and being faithful to my beliefs and values. It means being a loyal friend, a generous host, and a thankful employee. For right now, it means living my single life for God just as much as I dream of living a married life for Him.

If you’ve been blessed with the God-given gift of marriage, I think it’s wonderful. I think it’s lovely that there is a holiday that reminds you to celebrate that gift, to nurture it, and to proclaim it. I think it’s a great reminder to take care of the special partner and cohort you’ve been given in life, to refuse to neglect that incredible relationship, and to reminisce on how it all began. And, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to find that same kind of relationship someday. The problem lies in when we single guys and gals take where we are currently for granted. 

If you aren’t married, and if you aren’t in any kind of romantic relationship, don’t let Valentine’s Day get you down. I get it. Seeing so much lovey dovey is either sickening or just straight up funny sometimes. It can also have seriously detrimental effects if you let it get you down and out. I don’t want to sound like a broken record and just say “You don’t need a man to complete you!” (Or woman if you’re a guy reading this.) And cue gag me music. And, yes, truthfully only God can “complete you.” I’m not trying to be overly-religious here or turn this into a cheesy Hallmark card–whether for Christ or not. Look, this isn’t about women’s rights or some silly feminist movement. This isn’t about having the wherewithal to stand on your own two feet and be an individual before you commit to a relationship. It’s not even about the health issues or dysfunction in dependent relationships. This is about not only knowing who you are and who God made you to be, but about treasuring this time you have to spend with your Heavenly Father while you have it. 

Never again will you have the freedom to simply exist with your Father, alone, just you. Once you’re committed to someone else, it no longer becomes just about you. I don’t mean that to sound selfish, but have you thought about what memories you could make with this time? You aren’t bound to anyone else, body and soul. You don’t have children to feed, clean up after, bathe, put to bed, help with homework, etc.. You don’t have a household to keep track of, provide for, and be the caretaker of. Your list of responsibilities and obligations is significantly lower as a single person. Not only can you travel wherever you want, live wherever you want, and essentially do whatever you want (within reason of course), but you can do all of these things while growing closer to God! Once your married, it’s not just you and God anymore. It becomes about you, hubby/wifey, and God.

I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but you have the rest of your life to be you, spouse, and God. Right now you have the once in a lifetime opportunity to get to know your Savior and your Father in intimate ways you can only begin to dream of. You can make memories with you and God that you will cherish for your entire life, memories that can’t be replaced. You can focus on your growth with Him and not worry about the stress of managing any other relationships. This is the best time for you to grow incredibly close to your Father. And that will only set you up all the better to grow in all new ways once you are married. 

This is your Father-Daughter time as someone I know put it. Truthfully, I’d never thought of it that way until she said it, but I like it. It makes me feel less like this is a chore to endure and more like it’s a blessing I never knew I had. I’m certainly not putting down married couples. Marriage is a blessing all of it’s own. But it’s different. It isn’t the same. And I do believe getting to know God can be easier when you’re single than it is when you’re married. You may get to know Him in different ways, and you can deepen your relationship with Him at any stage of life, married or single. But I think with less on your plate, it’s just…easier to get to know Him intimately and to grow in Him deeply. It’s easier to prioritize your time–to make time even–and it’s easier to focus just on how you can listen for God and talk with Him.

Look for ways to cherish the time you have as a single man or woman. Don’t give up on the hope of finding a special someone someday. Don’t rely on anyone to complete you, but don’t deny the desire to love as God created us to love in all its capacities. In the meantime, learn as much as you can about who God made you to be so that you’ll go even further when it’s time to learn who God made you and your spouse to be as a team. 

With that, I do hope you all have had a beautiful Valentine’s Day and I hope this encourages you not to see this as a SAD day, but as another opportunity to grow intentionally in your life, to become closer to God, and to discover all that you were created to be. May you find fulfillment and thirst no more. 

Love always,
Coralie

And just for the fun of it, here’s a flashback to an old song from my middle school days! I think it’s catchy, though I could write a whole nother post over the message of the song. XD Here’s the Cheetah Girls, Cinderella