Part of being a well-balanced human being is making goals. Without goals, there is no progress. Without progress, why bother? I believe it is a crucial part of our journeys on this earth to grow as we get older. We’re supposed to learn and become better, hone our skills, gain wisdom. You know, grow old, be wise, pass on the knowledge we earn through the scars and stories we’ve collected. Bestow the next generation with the same task so it starts all over again. By the end of our lives, we’ll supposedly have grown and become the best version of ourselves, right?
Well, whether you agree or disagree, I think growing is important, and one of the best ways to grow is to do so intentionally. It isn’t just gonna happen by mistake. It’s no accident when two teams face off for the Super Bowl. Olympians didn’t just wake up one day and scratch their heads wondering how they got to be participating athletes! No! They worked hard! Those people made a choice, a conscious effort to grow and become masters in their fields. They earned those places of honor through every bead of sweat.
Some people spend a lifetime honing skills for a specific career; they work to be the best they can be in their fields. Others work in so many different fields that they become a jack of all trades, master of none. Personally, I think it would be cool to grow in one specific area until I’ve become an expert. To know your craft inside and out, to provide top notch quality work! That would be amazing! But even then, working in my field isn’t the only place I can grow. Nor should it be.
Maybe you don’t want to be the next Jesse Owens, Tolkien, or Mozart. Maybe you’re not sure what it is you want to do with your life yet. Regardless, I know there are skills we all need to work on. Patience, for instance, is a skill I’m sure no one on this planet has mastered entirely. There are those who have done more work toward it than others, but I have a hard time believing there’s a human out there who has never succumbed to the power of anger at least once.
Working on our characters is difficult. We’ve been charged with so many different areas just within our character that the list can be endless, just as the work is meant to span a lifetime. Even if you have great patience, how kind are you? Are you always faithful? Are you honest every single time? Do you give without the sting of loss? How sincere, joyful, peace-filled, and gentle are you? What about self-control? I’m sure you’ve got a grip on that, right? Being great at one of these is plausible, but all of them? All of the time? Not a chance. Being human is hard enough work as it is, but to be a good-hearted one? It’s something we may never achieve. At least not alone.
Then, of course, we could talk about the physical body that needs maintenance: eating healthy foods, exercising, sleeping enough at night, dental hygiene, and so on. You’ve got your spiritual health, your home life, your social life and relationships, your financial life, etc. There are so many different areas that need our attention, constantly. We have to juggle this lifetime mandate to grow along with actually living. I mean, I could hole up and be a bookworm, learning, but then I actually have to apply the things I’ve learned. I need to find people to be kind to, provide for, etc. All this while still managing to eat three meals a day, wash dishes and laundry, and shower occasionally too. Sounds like college all over again. Do I want clean laundry or sleep today? But it’s true. Finding a balance is difficult, but the first step is knowing that you need a balance in the first place.
How do I grow? How do I become a better cook, mechanic, writer, and seamstress? Study, experiment, go back to study again, practice, over and over and over. Set goals. Goals are tangible ways to mark progress, set a pace for growth, and see results. Proper, successful goals must have five different elements.
- Goals must be your goals. If you don’t want it, it won’t happen. It can’t be your mother’s goal for you, your wife’s goal for you, or your boss’s goal. It must be something you want.
- It must be measurable. Quantifiable. You can’t just set a goal to lose weight. You have to mark how much weight. 10 pounds? 20? How many words do you want to write? How many books do you want to read? You need a number.
- Goals must have a time limit. It isn’t enough to want to write 50,000 words. That’s a great start, but how long do you need to accomplish the goal? 50,000 words in 30 days? That’s starting to look more like a goal.
- Goals must be written down. If it isn’t written down, it didn’t happen. Write it down somewhere, all detailed out. Break down a day to day plan to reach your larger goal, and then place it somewhere you’ll see it. This helps with motivation too. Keep it relevant, like on your fridge or on your bathroom mirror. And breaking the big goals down into bite-sized chunks makes them seem less daunting.
- Goals must be realistic. You can’t climb Mount Everest if you haven’t trained for it. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Set goals that are attainable, achievable, but that challenge you too. Don’t fall into the trap of holding to low expectations and then celebrating like you did something amazing. Do hard things, but don’t be ridiculous and think you’ll fly through space without a spacesuit either.
What do you do when you miss the mark? What happens when you fail? I’ve experienced this recently. It’s been a kind of crushing defeat, but it’s reminded me that sometimes, we don’t win. Not everyone gets a trophy in the end. I heard a story about a man who trained for three months for a marathon and then during the race, his leg cramped up something fierce. The guy went from no exercise to being realistically close to not just finishing the marathon, but doing really well at it! Then the day of, his body failed him and he didn’t even come close to meeting his goal. Was he upset? You bet! So, how did he push through it? Well, he said he took the time to be disappointed, to mourn the failure. Then, he looked back at how far he had come. He’d done really well compared to where he started, and had his leg not given out on him, he could have achieved his goal.
I may not have written either of the two short stories I was supposed to this month, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever write them, just that they won’t be ready in time to enter the contests I so badly wanted to participate in. Am I heartbroken? Yeah, to be honest, a little bit. But will I give up writing altogether because of it? No way! Not a chance! I’m going to push on and set new goals and continue to grow in addition to the growth I’ve already done.
What about you? Share a time you’ve missed your goal or a time you made it and you were so proud! What areas do you want to grow in? What areas have you already grown in? Start a discussion below!
Love always,
Coralie